| I often heard like "Why are you so shy?". However, it was not just the shyness. It was a lack of confidence. It got worse when I went to Canada to study abroad because I was not fluent in English, thinking I was supposed to sound as native as possible. I was hesitating all the time and worrying about myself not being good at things. After the shy high school years, I had to do interviews in order to get into universities. Interview was such a scary thing since I had to talk to strangers and think logically even with so much pressure in front of the interviewers. Although I wished I could avoid it, I realized that I had to face it since I was very desperate to go to universities. I never liked speaking in front of other people; it was not comfortable and I was not confident either. Whenever I have to speak in front of any audience, I would get extremely nervous with a shaking voice and hands. If I get too stressed, I even had stomachaches until I finished the speaking. All of a sudden, some phrase came in my mind - turn risks into opportunities. I knew that I needed to do something to turn myself into "a confident girl"; so it was the chance. The only way I could get better and feel less nervous was to practice as many times as I could. I imagined there were some people in front of me listening to my speaking. Also, I made many kinds of questions so that I would not be so embarrassed with unexpected questions.. I had about 7 interviews. In most cases, I was given a few minutes to think about the given questions before the interview. While I was able to calm down myself and try to think logically, there was one interview where an interviewer asked me a random question. "Steve Jobs emphasized humanities while Bill Gates considers science and engineering more important. Which one do you think is more important?" I felt like someone hit in my head. It was a question that I had never thought of before. However, without thinking much I just said what I think about humanities. Even though it was not a perfect answer, I liked how I was able to talk about my arguments in a quite logical way. This is how I gain some kind of confidence. In the end, I was accepted at 4 universities including the one with a random question. This was when I realized that it is okay to be confident; even though I might be not as good as others, I can get better if I try harder. And those trials and practices are what could make me confident. "It is never a loss to have confidence" is what I think of whenever I face challenges |
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Soohee Oh / The first draft / Tues 3-4
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To Soohee Oh from Tae-hwan Park
ReplyDelete1.I really like the story and the explanation that showed the frustration you had.
2.Your main point seems to be turn risks into opportunities.
3. I like the expression "someone hit my head" because I can clearly see how blank somebody could have been had they been in such a situation.
4."Even though it was not a perfect answer, I liked how I was able to talk about my arguments in a quite logical way." I think you can improve this sentence by explaining what was the logical way.
5.Your writing so really good but I think there is room for improvement in better arranging the paragraphs and the points of the story.
Bye :)
To Soohee Oh from Na Shil Hwang the first draft
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that it clearly described yourself and how you overcame your shyness during your interview.
2. Your main point seems to be how you overcame your shyness and fear?
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful - turn risks into opportunities and I like them because it clearly describes your whole writing into one point and it is easy to know what changed in you in the writing.
4. Some things aren't clear to me. THese lines or parts could be improved
(meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems to be mixed up,
not lively): I think that it would be better if you could be more specific when you say all of a sudden, and in what situation you were in. I was a bit confused when you first elaborated about yourself in the beginning and suddenly changed by saying all of a sudden. I think it would have been better if you described the situation.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is I think that if you could make the flow of the story much smoother and a little less informative. But very good job overall!
Soohee Oh's final draft
ReplyDeleteRisks into Opportunities
"Why are you so shy?" I heard this question quite often. However, it was not just the shyness. It was a lack of confidence. It got worse when I went to Canada to study abroad because I was not fluent in English, thinking I had to sound as native as possible. I was hesitating all the time and worrying about myself not being good at things. After the shy high school years, I had to do interviews in order to get into universities. Interview sounded very terrifying since I had to talk to strangers and give logical answers even with so much pressure. Although I wished I could avoid it, I realized that I had to face it since I was extremely desperate to go to universities.
I never liked speaking in front of other people; it was not comfortable and I was not confident either. Whenever I had to speak in front of any audience, I would get extremely nervous with a shaking voice and wet hands. If I get too stressed, I even had stomachaches until I finished the speaking. Despite the phobia, I also had this aspiration for the top universities where I could receive better quality of education. Therefore, It meant the interviews were inevitable. And it also meant that there could be many other situations where I would have to speak confidently and handle the pressure as well.
Then, some phrase came in my mind - turn risks into opportunities. I knew that I needed to do something to turn myself into "a confident girl" someday; so it was the chance. The only way I could get better and feel less nervous was to practice as many times as possible. I imagined there were some people in front of me listening to my speaking and then I alone made speeches on all kinds of topics. Also, I made many kinds of questions and answers so that I would not be embarrassed with unexpected questions..
I had about 7 interviews. In most cases, I was given a few minutes to think about the given questions before the interview. While I was able to calm down myself and try to think logically in most of the interviews, there was one interview where an interviewer suddenly asked me a random question. "Steve Jobs emphasized humanities while Bill Gates considers science and engineering more important. Which one do you think is more important?" I felt like someone hit in my head. It was a question that I had never thought of before. However, without thinking much, I just said what I think about humanities. Even though it was not a perfect answer, I liked how I was able to come up with some arguments without any panic, handling the fear and pressure. This was how I gained some kind of confidence.
In the end, I was accepted at 4 universities including the one with a random question. This was when I realized that it was okay to be confident although I might be wrong or not as good as others; and I can get better if I try harder. I think those trials and practices are what make me confident. Now, whenever I face challenges, I always think of this phrase - It is never a loss to have confidence.