Get Over It
There's a loud crash. A kid starts crying. Dogs are barking. The kid is crying terribly. It's broad daylight. In a small town, a kid can be seen crying. He's crashed onto a pole. There are dogs barking at him. He's crying for his mommy. That kid was me. I got chased by dogs while riding my bicycle, lost control, and crashed into a huge pole. That's when I started hating dogs, and it's a trauma that I can't forget to this day.
When I was a little boy, I used to do chores. My mom would make me run errands around town like buying eggs, vegetables, just small things I can buy and carry back home. I would ride my bicycle to get my errands done because I loved riding it. Most of the people in town would recognize me, greet me, and compliment me for being such a good kid. But one day, I was riding around for fun. There was this big black house in the corner of town. There were three black dogs inside the gates, and they would always bark when someone passed by. But that one particular day, as I passed by the house, I saw that their gates were open. The dogs saw me on my bike, and started barking like crazy. They started to run after me. All three dogs were chasing me.
I was pedaling for my life. I didn't want to get bit by those vicious black dogs. It wasn't just one dog, it was three! I kept looking back to see how far I was getting from them, but I wasn't pedaling hard enough. They were right behind me. I had to turn to avoid a dead end, but I failed to see it and turned too late. I ended up crashing on the concrete pole, fell to the floor, and started crying. Everyone in town came out to see what happened. The dogs were still barking, but I saw the owner come running to get them back in the house. I cried for a good five minutes, until my mom came out to bring me home. From that day on, I hated dogs. I really hated dogs.
As I got older, I still couldn't keep comfortable around dogs. But in middle school, I had a friend who owned a dog, a rather big dog, and he invited me to his home. I was concerned how I would face the dog. When I went to my friend's house, the dog was rather very calm and friendly. His dog would keep sitting next to me, asking me to pet him, and he even slept with me. I went to my friend's house very often afterwards, and my fear of dogs disappeared because of it.
When I look back at this, I find myself proud for getting over a fear. It might seem childish, but everyone has different fears and different severity. I was seriously afraid of dogs, but now, I'm not. I would like to raise my own dog, but I don't have the time to. I hope I do some day.
Hello. Good for you to overcome a fear! I personally really like dogs! I hope you could raise a dog as a pet with much fun later in your life.
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry to ask a question here, but can anybody tell me an email address to send writing here??? I wrote down a secret word as "nimrod" .. I might note it wrong.. I just can't send my e-mail here...
ReplyDeleteprofjbh.nimrod@blogger.com :)
ReplyDeleteThank you a lot!!!!!!! :)
DeleteTo Seon Hyuk Im From Sung Young Jang Assignment memorable experience
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that the way you used some words and phrases repeatedly makes the writing more vivid and strong.
2. Your main point seems to be the experience you had that created a trauma with dogs, and how you became to overcome it.
3. These particular words struck me as powerful :
From that day on, I hated dogs. I really hated dogs.I liked this because the way you said the same thing twice made your hatred toward dogs seem real and made the feeling strong.
4. These lines can be approved :
That's when I started hating dogs, and it's a trauma that I can't forget to this day. In the end of your writing you told us that you got over hating dogs, and I think this means that you sort of got over your trauma in your experience, so you forgot about it. Maybe you can say that it is an unforgettable experience.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is improving the line I mentioned in number 4.
Final Draft
ReplyDeleteGet Over It
There's a loud crash. A kid starts crying. Dogs are barking. The kid is crying terribly. It's broad daylight. In a small town, a kid can be seen crying. He's crashed onto a pole. There are dogs barking at him. He's crying for his mommy. That kid was me. I got chased by dogs while riding my bicycle, lost control, and crashed into a huge pole. That's when I started hating dogs, and it's a trauma that I can't forget to this day.
When I was a little boy, I used to do chores. My mom would make me run errands around town like buying eggs, vegetables, just small things I can buy and carry back home. I would ride my bicycle to get my errands done because I loved riding it. Most of the people in town would recognize me, greet me, and compliment me for being such a good kid. But there was this big black house in the corner of town. There were three black dogs inside the gates, and they would always bark when someone passed by. But that one particular day, as I passed by the house, I saw that their gates were open. The dogs saw me on my bike, and started barking like crazy. They started to run after me. All three dogs were chasing me.
I was pedaling for my life. I didn't want to get bit by those vicious black dogs. It wasn't just one dog, it was three! I kept looking back to see how far I was getting from them, but I wasn't pedaling hard enough. They were right behind me. I had to turn to avoid a dead end, but I failed to see it and turned too late. I ended up crashing on the concrete pole, fell to the floor, and started crying. Everyone in town came out to see what happened. The dogs were still barking, but I saw the owner come running to get them back in the house. I cried for a good five minutes, until my mom came out to bring me home. From that day on, I hated dogs. I really hated dogs.
As I got older, I still couldn't keep comfortable around dogs. But in middle school, I had a friend who owned a dog, a rather big dog, and he invited me to his home. I was concerned how I would face the dog. When I went to my friend's house, the dog was rather very calm and friendly. His dog would keep sitting next to me, and asking me to pet him. He even slept with me. I went to my friend's house very often afterwards, and my fear of dogs disappeared because of his dog.
When I look back at this, I find myself proud for getting over a fear. It might seem childish, but everyone has different fears and different severities. I was seriously afraid of dogs, but now, I'm not. I would like to raise my own dog, but I don’t have the time to. I hope I do some day.