I used to live in the forest of apartment buildings. Wherever I look around, there were gray and tall apartments which resembled matchsticks. They were all identical in size, form and design. It seemed as if no other types of buildings were allowed. The place could be characterized as tall, big and gray. However, even among this forest of buildings, there was a place of green, cozy and peace.
It was behind my house and near to the playground I used to play. The place was surrounded with moist moss, leaves and trunks of trees. The overall atmosphere was dark but lights also came to clear my vision. Due to the packs of leaves, the temperature was always cool even in the hot summer. I could also smell some moist came out from the trees. And there were a brown bench which almost seemed to break apart. But still, it provided me a room to sit and rest. It was quite place where all the shouts and screams from the voice of children seemed to fade away.
However, it was not the nature nor the bench that made the place memorable and meaningful to me. The thing was that it was a perfect place for me to be alone. Few people seemed to recognize and visit the place. It was because when looked outside, it was just a dirty and should-be-developed place. No one tried to come here and ignored the place. So, most of the time when I came here, I could be alone not be bothered by others.
The place usually functioned as my secret mission place. Whenever the time I came to the place, I even did not tell my mother. I just made up the words that I had a work to do. I wanted the place to be my own place that no one else can touch. When I feel gloomy, I came here. I came here to murmur and grumble myself. I did not want others to see me blaming others and my cowardice. Also, when I tried to do something shameful, I came here. Even I came here and was alone, I cowered my shoulder and body due to my guilt.
Looking back, the place gave shelter to my shame. I exposed my shameful feelings in here and showed shameful behavior here. The place and I shared the secrets that no one else even my mother did not know. So that is why the place is still memorable to me.
Written by Soohee Oh
ReplyDelete1. I liked how the writer explains the cozy and peaceful place has become a place for murmuring or showing shamefulness. The third paragraph became more interesting and grabbed my attention; it seemed like a twist.
2. The writer described the place clearly - how it looked, how it smelled and how it felt to be there.
3. She did appeal to different senses.
"...with moist moss, leaves and trunks of trees" - sight
"... could also smell some moist came out from the trees" - smell
These helped me imagine the place clearly!
4. The place seemed to be a very peaceful oasis amid tall gray buildings. Since not many people recognized or went to the place, it should have been very quiet and calm.
5. I think the writer chose the place because she could let herself down and feel some freedom of being alone. Those places should be memorable especially when you have such a busy life.
6. There seems to be nothing to improve. She could include what she said to herself in the place using quotes!
Writer's name : Yujeong Suh Reader's name : Suhan Lee Date: 11/3
ReplyDelete1. I liked the distinguishable colorfulness of the place. Writer described well so the place seemed to stand out vividly in the achromatic color building forest.
2. Its atmosphere, smells and feelings are clearly described.
3. The place was surrounded with moist moss, leaves and trunks of trees - sense of sight
I could also smell some moist came out from the trees - sense of smell
4. This place seemed to be very fresh and cozy. It is totally isolated so it seemed to be also a little bit mysterious.
5. It was a place to find peace for the writer. He/She has been consoled in the place whenever he/she felt bad.
6. It would be better if a story of a specific shameful experience which was consoled in the place is added.