Sunday, November 2, 2014

Seon Hyuk Im / Ch.4 First Draft / Tues. 11am

Color of Sunset

           A large oak tree is seen on a front lawn of the house across mine. There's a wooden box on top. It has a door, a window, and a ladder going up. It's a tree house. I've always wondered how it would feel like having a tree house, a special private place for myself. Many people have this so called "special" place of their own. I used to live on an island called Guam, and since there were many places that could be private and quiet, I really liked living there. My meaningful place was the beach in front of a hotel.

           There are many beaches on Guam since it's an island. There are many tourists since it's a beautiful tropical island. There are many people on the beach since people like the view of the clear blue endless ocean. There are many people on the beach because it's relaxing but also fun. I was one of those many people who liked the tropical island, who liked the endless blue ocean, who liked to have fun playing volleyball then lying down on the soft sand, relaxing. This beach, specifically the beach in front of Outrigger Hotel, which is the hotel in the middle of the busy tourist location which has many duty free shops and hotels around. I really liked this beach because of the location. It always had many people, many events, and many things to watch like volleyball games or people surfing on the sea.

           While many people would prefer quiet places like a tree house, I prefer a place with many people, with many noises, with no time to be alone. I like a place where there are people everywhere you look, where there are many conversations going all at once, where I feel like I am around people. On this beach, there were always Japanese and Korean tourists playing on the beach, splashing water, swimming in the water, or building sandcastles. There were also many people who would be lying down on the soft sand, tanning. If I look around even more, there would be local Guam people playing volleyball or having a barbeque. I would just enjoy watch everyone do their own thing, or sometimes, I'd bring my friends and hang out with them.

           "No! You're robbing all of my money! Why'd you have to build a hotel on this block! I hate this game!" On the last day I spent on Guam, I was on that beach playing monopoly with my 2 best friends. Although this game was a game of breaking friendships and cursing at each other, it was fun watching each other get angry and seem like all hope is lost when one goes bankrupt. It was around 6:30 pm, with the beautiful orange red sunset at the end of the ocean. There were people having a barbeque next to us, and people enjoying a game of volleyball on the other side. I lost the game though, I never won. I'd always end up being the angriest person and cursing like there's no tomorrow.

           I enjoyed my last day watching my best friends getting angry and watching what Guam people enjoy the most. In Korea, there is no place as great as that, where I can enjoy watching people relaxed and enjoying themselves.

2 comments:

  1. From Choi Yun To Seon Hyuk Im
    1. The part in which the writer describes the scene of playing 'monopoly' with his friends was so realistic that it appealed to me a lot.
    2. The description about the beach was long enough and rather clear. But I couldn't get a clear image of a hotel and its surroundings from the essay.
    3. There were some sensory descriptions in the essay but it was not strong enough. 'blue ocean', 'soft sand', 'noise' were the only sensory expressions used in the essay.
    4. The Guam beach gives me a feeling of relaxation and joy.
    5. The reason why writer chose this place is that he really enjoyed the time he spent at the Guam beach, I think.
    6. As I said above, descriptions on a sensory details and an outlook of the hotel and its surroundings can be added on the essay for its improvement.

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  2. To Seon Hyeok Im from Na Shil Hwang
    a) What I liked about this essay was that you described an experience unlike from Korea and about the beautiful scenery of Guam.
    b) I think that you did describe the place clearly. You explained well about the people around and about the beach.
    c) auditory - you explained about the noise of the place and people talking in different languages
    visual - You talked about the sunset and I thought it was a good description
    d) the mood is happy and excited
    e) I think he wrote about this place because it was one of his best memories that he had
    f) I think that maybe one more sense, sense of smell and taste could be included in this essay and I think it would be much more full.

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