Oi Men
During Lunar New Year, the whole town is brimming with festive mood. People dress in red or bright colour, holding flowers or gifts, and visit relative's families. While walking through the long corridor with my parents, I see so many New Year couplets stuck in front of every household's doors. Finally, we arrived grandma's home. My grandma has 6 sons and daughters; all of them are grown up in this house. After my mother and uncles grew up, they have their own families. Though they moved out, the whole family used to spend times together in every Lunar New Year, whatever how far we live in. We didn't make any appointments for this, but in every year, the whole family just shows up and gathers together at grandma's home. Although my family and uncle's have already migrated to other countries, we used to fly back to Hong Kong on every Lunar New year.
After stepped into grandma's home, I see so many familiar faces step forward and greet us. The classy decoration for Chinese New Year as the perfect contract to the 80s-like floor tiles, the cherry tree in full bloom placed in the center of the living room, the smiles on everyone's faces become a best scene in my mind. A while later, grandma takes few dishes of New Year food she just made from kitchen, and all of us just moves to dinning room to grab a bite. We eat, we talk, the house is fill with the scent of food, and the happy sounds of our laughter all day long. That's not easy to feel the warm atmosphere like this in the UK.
The estate my grandma lives in is called Oi Men, it means the love between people in Cantonese. Year by year, this house is a testament to the growth of every family member in our family. Sadly, I heard about Oi Men is going to be destroyed and redeveloped as the building aged over 30 years. My grandma is ready to move to other place, and the memories and feelings towards the house is going to be destroyed as well…
201301616 Yujeong Suh
ReplyDelete1. What did you like best about this essay? Be as specific as possible.
- I think this essay clearly shows why the place is meaningful to the writer. The place reminds the writer her family members and their love. So, it is very easy to understand because the family love is an universal topic and therefore the readers can easily agree with the writer.
2. Did the writer describe the place clearly? List any parts that were not clear to you.
- What is 'couplet stuck'? Is it a traditional Hong Kong/Chinese one? If so, it will be better to describe how it looks.
3. Did the writer appeal to the different sense? List two sensory details that you especially liked.
- Sight: The classy decoration for Chinese New Year as the perfect contract to the 80s-like floor tiles, the cherry tree in full bloom placed in the center of the living room, the smiles on everyone's faces become a best scene in my mind.----Smell/Sound: We eat, we talk, the house is fill with the scent of food, and the happy sounds of our laughter all day long.
4. How would you describe the mood or the atmosphere of this place?
- As the writer mentioned, the overall atmosphere of the place is warm and happy.
5. Why do you think the writer chose to write about this place?
- I think the place is memorable and meaningful to the writer in that she could feel the love of family and the warmth that came from sharing some nice food and conversations with those lovely family members. So that is why she chose write about Oi Men.
6. How could the writer improve this essay when he or she revises? Make only one suggestion.
- I think it would have been better if the writer had written more detaily. For example, when she wrote about the scent of food, she could have written it detaily by describing what kind of smell she had felt. Also, she mentioned about "the happy sounds of our laughter". To support this phrase, she could write about the dialogues that she had with the family member. So, to sum up, it will be better if the writer shows by using five senses.
201100278 Kim Gui Hwan
ReplyDelete1.I liked how she described the warm family gathering on holidays. It almost reminds me of my family Christmas holiday. Especially the part where you say this house is a testament to growth really shows your importance to the house.
2. The general atmosphere was well described, but i think there could be improvement on describing the actual place. Words such as classy decoration can be more vividly explained.
3.I liked how you get to see smiles on everyone faces. Second, I like how you described that the house was filled with the scent of food.
4. The mood is very warm and everyone is happy to meet and greet family. It is loud because everyone is trying to catch up on what had happened to each other.
5. The writer chose this place because like she mentioned a lot of her family live in different countries, yet during Chinese new years all of them get together and this has importance to her.
6. Be more descriptive with the surroundings. Tell what kind of food scented the air. Maybe describe your grandmothers smile when she saw all of her children together.
From Byungwook Kim
ReplyDelete1) I like the part when her grandma's memory will fade away with the destroyed buliding
2) there was nothing particular I coudn't understand.
3) x
4) warm and welcoming
5) its her safe place..
6) more details should strengthen the writing.
1. I liked that the writer described his/her feelings very vividly, in detail.
ReplyDelete2.The writer describes his/ her grandmother's house clearly.
3. The writer appeals mainly to the sight.
4. The mood of the place is very merry and enjoyable and happy.
5. I believe the writer has a special meaning to this place and cherished the memory.
6. The writer can explain more about the traditional Lunar New Year.
201300854 Jieun Kim