To tell you the truth, I am not good at geography, so I cannot point out locations of the major cities in Korea. However, I exactly know where Gyeongju is. It is the city where I spent my childhood for 3 years. It makes me to smile when I think of the place. These days, even kindergarteners are busy attending so many academies but when I was in their age, I had lots of free time: I only attended an art academy because my mother, who worked as a computer graphic designer, wanted me to learn art. The academy was 10 minutes walk from our house but way back to home took me more than 40 minutes because I always stopped by at a reservoir and a farm near it, even if it was a rainy day.
More than 10 years passed but I clearly remember way to the reservoir: on the roadside, there was a pathway to the reservoir and starting from counting 1,2,3.. to almost 400, I could arrive at the small farm. There were puppies, chickens, and a black goat. I always spent time playing with them. I got familiar with Mrs. Yoon, the owner of a farm and when my chicks grew too much that I couldn't raise them in my apartment anymore, I took them to the farm. After visiting the farm, I walked about ten minutes and finally arrived at the big reservoir. I always dreamed to swim at that wide reservoir once I become a good swimmer. I sat on the grass and took out my sketch book and color pencils to draw the reservoir: doing my best to depict the place , imagining as if I was a professional artist.
When I arrived home and finished dinner, me and my brother went to reservoir with my mom to take a walk. Yes, I visited the place twice a day because I loved that place so much. There are lots of stories related to it, but to tell you about the most impressive one, there were trifoliate orange trees near the reservoir. And the tree's leaves are food for yellow swallowtail butterfly so there were countless caterpillars. We took them to our home and feed them fresh leaves every day. Several weeks later, they were in the pupal stage, tying themselves to the tree and not moving themselves as if they were dead. I cannot forget the day when I first saw a butterfly coming out from the pupa: I stepped into balcony, where we placed caterpillar cage, and then I saw a beautiful butterfly pulling out itself from the pupa! Not many people have seen a caterpillar-pupa-butterfly stage by their own eyes! Gyeongju was a place where I could experience beauty of nature directly.
I became eight years old and I entered elementary school. The same year, my father was promoted and we had to move to Seoul. Leaving my friends was sad, but leaving the place filled with special memories was much hard to me. When I entered high school, my family had a chance to visit Gyeongju. When we arrived, we heard that the reservoir was gone few years ago due to redevelopment projects. Although the place filled with my childhood memories doesn't exist right now, I cannot forget about the place because my memories are still alive.
To. Jihee Won. From. So-Eun Yoon
ReplyDelete1. What I loved most about your essay is the part where you describe your first experience of watching a butterfly hatch out of its pupa. That seems like a once-in-a-lifetime experience to me!
2. Yes, you described Gyeongju and the reservoir with many details. They were all very clear to me and nothing was hard to understand.
3. No, you haven't appealed to many different senses. You have mostly described the place by using the visual sense but you have misssed out on using the four other senses.
4. I can feel how relaxed it would have been to live next to so much nature. Just by reading your essay, I can guess how relaxed and peaceful your life was in Gyeongju while you were growing up.
5. I think you chose to write about Gyeongju and the reservoir because it's a place with so many of your beautiful memories as a child.
6. To improve your essay, I think it would be great if you used more senses in your writing. By using all of the five different senses, you could make your writing seem more real to the readers.