A memorable place
When I was a kid, I liked the feeling of a late afternoon breeze. The slowly dimming lights, the smell of fresh grass and cool wind was all that took to make a perfect ending on a hard day. My brother and I went for a short ride on our bikes after dinner, just before the sky became too dark to see anything. We always waited for the moment to go out on our bikes at the end of the day. On our bikes we would usually ride around in our neighborhood, but sometimes we would go all the way to our elementary school. To me this school is one of the most memorable places.
I went to an elementary school in a suburban area in the middle of Texas, so the school grounds were quite big and there were a lot of people. My mom would always drive me to school and we would get off at the main doors, where everybody got off. The school was sort of shaped like a big 'T' with a spacey corridor in the middle. There was a cafeteria on the right side, a gym on the left, and a library in the far end of the corridor. The school grounds did not have a sandy playground like they have in Korea, but instead had a lot of grass everywhere.
Elementary school is where I made my first friends and where all my American best friends were. I don't keep in touch since I'm so far away, but I still remember the great times we had running around in school and also around the neighborhood. Some of my best memories I have of the school are the great times I had with my childhood friends.
I remember this place more than anything because I was not able to say goodbye to anyone before I left. My family had to move to another part of the state before moving back to Korea and I wasn't able to tell anyone because it was during summer break and we were in a hurry. I regret that I wasn't able to say a proper goodbye, I was too young at the moment to understand the consequences of moving and transferring to another school. If I had been able to see them one last time, I might have been able to keep in touch with all my friends there, but when I think of my school once in a while, all I can do is remember the good times.
Writer's name Jang Sung Yound Reader name :Dawood Muhammad date 11-03-2014
ReplyDelete1.I like the starting point of the essay.The writer attracted the attention of the reader .This way of decription appealed to my feelings very much.
2. I think the writer has given enough details about the place .
3.The writer appealed to the different senses in the essay like; 'feeling of late afternoon breeze 'slowly dimming ligths' and 'the smell of the fresh grass and cool wind'
4.I would describe the atmospher exciting and emotional as well,because the writer has the emotional attachment with the place since his childhood.
5.The writer is very specific about his place that is the elementry school.
6.The writer would have imroved the essay by giving some details about the teachers and the class atmosphere.
From Choi Yun To Jang Sung Young
ReplyDelete1. A peaceful memory of riding a bike with the writer's brother mentioned at the beginning of the writing was the part I liked most about this essay.
2. I think the writer described the place rather briefly but clearly. There was no part that wasn't clear to me.
3. The sentence located at the beginning of the essay says, 'The slowly dimming lights, the smell of fresh grass and cool wind was all that took to make a perfect ending on a hard day'. This sentence has 3 sensory descriptions in it(sight, smell and touch). I especially liked the description of a fresh smell of the grass and a cool touching of the wind.
4. I would describe this place to be energetic, harmonious and heartwarming.
5. I think that the writer misses the place where he spent a lot of time with his friends. That might be a reason for his choosing this place.
6. I think the writer's description about the place and overall expression was great. The essay might have been better if the writer had paid more time describing a good memory with his american friends in detail.