Crying Rock
The moon sits down on the lake and the tranquil water reaches to the lakeside. The smell of water plants wafts through the air and tickles my nose. A huge rock between water plants hangs over the lakeside, letting me to climb aboard it. It is a beautiful place indeed which is one of the most favorite haunts of many romantic couples, however, to me, it is a place where I can lean in hard times. I do not visit there nowadays, but I used to go there once.
About a year ago, it was the only place I visited often, except for the cram schools and home. When I was in high school, I struggled to enter one of the most prestigious universities. But it was especially hard for me since I had spent long stormy period of adolescence unlike the smart students. It was very difficult to catch up with those competitors, so I had to put enormous efforts to do so. I could not have 5 hours' sleep in two years. I studied at a reading room until the closing time, 2 a.m. My strong will and great efforts led me to remarkable development of my grades, but this ascending current was not stable. Since my life at that time was all about studying, my fluctuating academic grades completely dominated my emotion.
One day I totally messed up a mock, and I could not suppress my feelings and could not devote myself to studying. It was necessary for me to find something that could divert me. I kept on walking The Lake Park which is close to my reading room. I walked and walked again, fighting back my tears. Then the rock appeared in front of me and I mindlessly went it up. The sight over the rock was so beautiful that I could not help but burst into tears. The moon shaping a perfect circle was pouring its soft light. The moonlit embraced me by the way that even my mother could not. The chirping of crickets seemed that they were crying, sympathized with my sorrow. The chilly wind made me adjust my dress, helping me not to be caught by the people passing by. After I discovered the rock, I invariably went to see my rock and cried in front of him, not only when I but also whenever I was in trouble.
I had spent a great deal of time on the rock, though I do not visit there in these days. The rock was a fine man indeed who stood by me whenever I needed. He was someone who understood me without a word. He was also very dependable like a condemned criminal, holding his tongue until his death. Thanks to the rock in the lake, I could go through such a difficult and heart wrenching time.
1. What did you like best about this essay? Be as specific as possible.
ReplyDeleteWhat I liked best about your writing was how poetically you described the place. How you also personified the rock. I felt like I was actually there with you seeing you on the rock, going through the pain together.
2. Did the writer describe the place clearly? List any part that were not clear to you. There were some parts that were not clear. / I think there is a word missing after ‘not only when I’ in the last sentence, third paragraph. What did you want to say?
3. Did the writer appeal to the different senses? List two sensory details that you especially liked.
Yes, mostly. What did the rock feel like? Was it cold? / a) The smell of water plants wafts through the air and tickles my nose. B) The chirping of crickets seemed that they were crying, sympathized with my sorrow.
4. How would you describe the mood or the atmosphere of this place? It seemed cold and dark. It felt like I was somewhere similar to Hangang at night.
5. Why do you think the writer chose to write about this place?
Because it was a place where she could go to whenever she wanted to let out her feelings. She felt a sense of comfort from the rock knowing it will keep everything to itself…her feelings, her tears and her words.
6. How could the writer improve this essay when he or she revises? Make only one suggestion. If there is one thing I think might help improve the essay, maybe clarifying some sentences that were a bit unclear. E.g. “except for the cram schools and home.” “A huge rock between water plants hangs over the lakeside, letting me to climb aboard it.” Overall, it was interesting reading your essay. I was amazed at how poetically it was written. Thanks for sharing : )
CJH
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